Thursday, May 17, 2012

Unexpected


As a counselor, I see many people who have come to counseling because life has handed them something “unexpected”.  Whether it’s a divorce, a loss, a stressful situation, or maybe some other difficulty, there is always one resounding theme… the event/situation did not fit into their previous expectation of how their life would go.  I believe that everyone experiences this at one time or another.  How do you deal with life’s surprises?  Everyone has different ways of coping.  Some people need big support systems.  Other people need quiet time to process.  Still, others are comfortable with just a few very close friends. 
In my practice, I talk a great deal about perspective.  My Cognitive-Behavioral approach leads me to encourage people to frame up how they view their life.  How you respond to life can be just as important as what is actually happening.  There are many times where difficult circumstances bring about important lessons and give us a chance to truly develop into what we are to become.  These times in our life, while hard and painful, give us a chance to grow.  By withstanding life’s storms, we become wiser, more confident, and better able to appreciate the good times. 
What can you do if you are in the middle of one of the storms of life?  As I have stated before, be kind to yourself.  Allow yourself to truly experience the variety of feelings as they come.  There may be times where you feel sad, angry, worried, or anxious.  It is also important to have a good support system.  For some people, this may be a village of friends and family or it may be just a few close friends.  The important thing is that there is someone in your life who you feel understands you and will be there for you.  Finally, if you are feeling overwhelmed or are experiencing persistent sadness, seek professional help.  There are many qualified professionals who are trained to help you. 
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. - Anatole France

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