Life Changes

In my previous post, I discussed the stress and burnout that typically occurs this time of year.  Recently, I have been talking with parents who are feeling conflicted about their children growing up and moving on.  I have spoken with parents of children who are leaving for college, going to high school, and even starting middle school.  These life transitions can be both joyful and difficult.  As a parent, it is easy to get caught up in the day to day grind and not realize that time is really passing very quickly.  Then, one day, the parent looks up and realizes that their child is about to hit a milestone.  "When did that happen?", they may think.  How should parents cope with these feelings?

It is important to realize that not only are you experiencing a variety of emotions, your child may also be feeling conflicted.  Children and adolescents are usually excited for the next step in their lives, but may also experience feelings of trepidation, anxiety, or even fear as they enter into new territory.  Supporting your child and his or her feelings is the most important thing that you can do.  Discussing new routines, new social situations, and visiting new places with them can help remove a great deal of fear.  Reassure your child that you are confident in his or her ability to make good choices and that you will be there should situations arise that cause feelings of uncertainty.  As for your personal feelings, talk about those too!  Children are usually very intuitive and can tell when their parents feel sad or unhappy.  Letting them know that you love them and that sometimes seeing them grow up is hard for you can make them feel even more loved.  It is also a good idea to let them know how proud you are and how you are looking forward to the next phase of their life. 

As a parent, it is also important that you feel supported during these times of transition.  Talk with your spouse, friends, or other family members about your feelings.  Talking to someone who knows how you feel can help tremendously.  As always, if you have persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, seek the help of a professional who can help you navigate these new waters.